From Survival to Surrender: A Journey Back to God
There was a time in my life when survival was my greatest strength.
I learned how to push forward, no matter the pain.
How to achieve, no matter the obstacles.
How to lead, even when I was still healing.
From the outside, it looked like resilience.
And in many ways, it was.
But beneath the surface, there were parts of me that remained closed off. Guarded. Unhealed.
Not because I didn’t believe in God…
But because life had taught me to rely on myself.
The Armor We Build
When you’ve experienced trauma, disappointment, or seasons of deep uncertainty, you learn how to build armor.
You become strong. Independent. Unshakable.
But what I’ve come to understand is this:
The same armor that protects you… can also prevent you from receiving.
Receiving love.
Receiving healing.
Receiving God.
For years, I carried strength, but not surrender.
Faith, but not fullness.
Belief, but not complete trust.
The Turning Point
My turning point was not a single moment; it was a gradual awakening.
A quiet realization that despite all I had accomplished… something inside me was still longing.
Longing for peace that didn’t depend on circumstances.
For healing that didn’t come from achievement.
For a relationship with God that was not distant but deeply personal.
And so, I made a choice.
Not to strive harder.
Not to fix everything.
But to open my heart.
The Power of Surrender
Surrender is often misunderstood.
It is not weakness.
It is not giving up.
It is the most powerful decision we can make.
Because surrender says:
“I trust You, God, more than I trust my own understanding.”
It is in surrender that I found what striving could never give me:
Peace.
Clarity.
Healing.
Healing the Broken Places
Scripture tells us in Psalm 147:3:
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
For so long, I carried wounds I believed I had to manage on my own.
But God does not ask us to carry what He has already promised to heal.
When I allowed Him into those broken places.
Not just the polished parts of my life, but the painful ones.
Everything began to change.
Leading Differently
My faith is no longer something I keep separate from my life.
It is how I live.
How I lead.
How I serve.
As a leader, I now understand:
✔️ Strength is not just endurance; it is surrender
✔️ Leadership is not just performance; it is purpose
✔️ Success is not just achievement; it is alignment with God’s calling
I strive to lead with compassion, integrity, and faith, knowing that true leadership begins within.
A New Beginning
This journey has led me to a place I never expected:
A renewed relationship with God.
A deeper sense of purpose.
A willingness to fully walk in faith.
And in this season of my life, my husband and I have made the decision to fully open our hearts to the Lord, to be baptized, and to build our marriage on a foundation of faith.
Not because we are perfect.
But because we are willing.
My Reflection to You
If you are reading this and feel strong, but tired…
Successful, but still searching…
Resilient, but carrying more than you should…
I invite you to consider this:
What would happen if you stopped carrying it alone?
God is not waiting for you to have it all together.
He is simply waiting for you to open the door.
Closing
I spent years becoming who I needed to be to survive.
Now, I am becoming who God created me to be.
And that… has changed everything.
With elevation and intention,
Dr. Jacqueline Nelms
Founder, Mindful Elevation: Strength & Resilience Within
